Tuesday, December 31, 2013

An Ode to 2013

2013 brought a lot of change to my life. I think more happened to me this year than in my whole lifetime. I hate those cheesy sappy wrap ups of a year in a blog post. Maybe because I hate anything serious, I am one of those people where I can't keep any conversation serious because once it hits a deep emotion telling note I get awkward and make a funny joke or sarcasm takes its toll. But I really wanted to express how grateful I am to 2013.

My gratitude is towards all the horrible things that happened this year. Being grateful for bad things? Yeah I know now I am sounding like a nut case. But all the bad was brought for a reason and made me become someone I needed to be.  My theory is that you can feel bad for yourself all you want, and sure people will feel bad for you at first but then they forget and you are on your own, and when that time comes, that is when you make the choice. You can choose to let it consume you and continue on with self pity, or you can realize that this trial is given to you for a reason and you can learn from it. When my parents got divorced this year, at first all I wanted was pity. Not only was divorce thrown at me but secrets, lies and deceptions. How was this fair, how was I supposed to just get up and go like nothing happened. My heart was broken my life was changed, and I am supposed to just move on? Just sitting in the corner of my bed filled with self pity and streaming tears seemed to me, to be the best solution. But when it wasn't helping, that was when I made the choice. From this trial, I gained a true testimony of the gospel. No one and nothing was making me feel better, I would run, watch movies, eat, don't eat, talk to friends, avoid my parents, nothing worked. Once I turned my faith towards Heavenly Father everything started to change. And I sincerely mean that.

I would always hear of these stories where people would say they prayed about it, and God really helped. For some reason I had a hard time believing that the biggest solution through a trial was Heavenly father, like I thought they were just being dramatic, and I thought sure praying helped but I am sure time just healed. But after I put full faith into the situation I realized that he did help. There is a change in heart, a change in the type of happiness and joy you feel when you let the gospel in your life. I promise you will never understand it, until you try it, and I mean fully trying it with full effort and faith in your heart. So I did, and my life changed for the better.

While the divorce and other things went down, my testimony grew stronger and so did I. Though my family life was falling apart, the rest of my life seemed to start getting pieced together. I gained a best friend, or more like a twin considering she is my other half. She understood everything I was going through and was put in my life for a purpose. I was able to go on a spring break trip with the most aspiring people, it was like the knew how to make you forget anything bad in your life. I had not only amazing roommates my spring semester, but this fall semester my roommates are my family, I don't know who I would be without them. I had the best summer, one for the books. And I was finally able to sorta let a guy into my life, still working on that but hey it was a start. My life really was bringing me so much joy. The trial I was going through started to seem like a little spec in the grand scheme of things. And sure sometimes it still bites me in the butt but I am able to push through it.

This wasn't meant to spill out my feelings and turn into some testimony. But I just want to say that we all have control over our lives. Things will hit us and hit us hard, but I, I have 100% control on how I feel and how I am going to react. No one else can control that. So I am grateful, For the most amazing year filled with the most amazing people, and the most amazing experiences. I would say it was the best year I have ever lived yet. And so I leave a big fat HAH! to the trials that hit me, because you ain't got nothin on me.

1 comment:

  1. gorgeous! your pictures are stunning as always! happy new year xxx

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